I believe it was Franklin D Roosevelt President of the USA who said of public speaking. Be Sincere: Be Brief: Be Seated. Sound advice especially when you are starting out. Especially be sincere.
Your irrational fear of public speaking and presenting can be overcome and we are now at the half way point in this series. ‘Overcoming The Fear of Public Speaking’.
In this section you will learn all how to look at what you do from the audiences point of view. You’ll also understand why and how to use humour and the power of humility.
Key 5 - You succeed when you're not a Public Speaker!
Ok that looks a contradictory staement but it's not - It's about perception. Are you a speaker? I suggest you should ask this. This is because one of the best way to succeed as a public speaker is not to consider yourself a public speaker.
Do you agree with that?
You may have set or, hold unrealistic views of what successful public speakers do.
You may assume that to be successful, you have to bring certain idealistic qualities you just don’t have.
As a consequence, you may struggle to emulate those personal characteristics of other speakers. And all the time you believe (wrongly ) these characteristics are responsible for their success.
In other words, you try to be someone you’re not! You try to be a public speaker or a presenter whatever that image means to you.
The truth about public speaking is that most successful speakers got that way by doing the opposite! They didn't try to be somebody else. They just gave themselves permission to be themselves. And they did that in front of other people. And much to their surprise, they discovered how much fun they could have doing something most other people dread.
The secret, then, to their success is that they didn't try to become public speakers!
You can give yourself permission to do the very same thing. No matter what type of person we are, or what skills and talents you possess, you can stand up in front of others and be yourself.
Once you are comfortable being yourself you will be far more likely to love to speak in public. Why? Because it's one of the few times you give yourself permission to fully be yourself in the presence of others.
You can be bold, compassionate, silly, informative, helpful, and witty. In-fact anything you want to be. As long as you’re delivering with purpose and from the heart you can de pretty much what you want anything else that feels natural in the moment. You can also experiment and see what works best with audiences. A great truism in life is “we all learn from our mistakes”
As a result, you’ll make much better contact with your audience. You won't fall into the trap of droning on and on about some uninteresting subject. You’ll feel alive, energized, fully invested in everything you say and do.
When you really get good at being yourself in front of others, you can even stand up in front of a group of people without any idea how you're going to get across your three main points.
And you know what when you get practiced at this? People in the audience often come up to you afterward and say, "you were great, I wish I had the confidence to give public talks like you."
That's the wrong way to think. Don't try to give talks the way I do, or the way anyone else does. Just go out there, armed with your knowledge and a three key points, and be yourself. Everything else will usually work out. It might take a few times to nail it. But after a while, you'll settle into your own successful ways of delivering that will be all yours and no one else's.
While most will eventually find their style, certain techniques can be used by almost everyone. The top two are humility and humour. Both can go a long way to making your presentations more enjoyable and entertaining for your audience.
Humour is well understood by most of us, so little needs to be said about it here. If being humorous feels comfortable for you, or if it fits your speaking situation, go for it. It usually works, even if you don't do it perfectly. However a word of caution, check it’s appropriate to your audience.
Over to humility which can take some time to fully understand. By humility, I mean standing up in front of others and sharing some of your own human frailties, weaknesses, and mistakes. If you are comfortable with that, then you should use it as it will win audiences over.
We all have weaknesses, you know, and when you stand up in front of others and show that you're not afraid to admit yours. Some can be turned into humour and others show you care. It’s then you create a safe, intimate climate where others can acknowledge their personal shortcomings as well.
Being humble in front of others makes you more credible, more believable, and paradoxically more respected. People can connect with you more easily.
When you show humility, you become "one of them" instead of a remote expert on stage. No longer are you head and shoulders above them (which you really aren't). It also sets a tone of honesty and self-acceptance, which people often recognize in themselves.
Don't try to do this, however, if it's not authentic for you. True humility is easily distinguished from the pretence of acting humble. If you pretend, your audience will perceive this and lose respect for you. I can never remember who said “when you can fake sincerity you’ve got it made. Nothing could be further from the truth. Try that and an audience will see straight trough you.
Trying to fake humility will harm you. There is a naff saying “Fake it till you make it.” which similar and fraught with danger. Because what you are saying is Lie till you get it right. And that is no way to proceed.
Often, humour and humility can be combined very effectively. Telling humorous stories about yourself, or using your own personal failings to demonstrate some point you are trying to make, can be both entertaining and illuminating.
For example, if you get nervous when you stand up to speak in front of a group, or if you suddenly feel nervous during the middle of your presentation, don't hide this fact from your audience, they can tell anyway. Be real--and humble--by acknowledging your fear openly and honestly. Ask your audience for forgiveness while you take a few moments to collect yourself.
When this happened to me, I used to stop and look at the audience and tell them. “I’m sorry folks I feel really nervous this evening I hope you will be gentle with me?”
Or, you can start your presentation with a humorous story that produces the same effect. For example, I've seen speakers begin their presentation s by using an old schoolboy line. "What lies at the bottom of the ocean and shakes all over?" Answer: a nervous wreck! It can be endearing sand helps relieve speaking anxiety.
The fourth part of this series on Overcoming the fear of public speaking will be published in the next day or two. So check back for the forth piece in this series on overcoming the fear of public speaking. You can get this sent to your RSS reader by subscribing to this blog.
Paul Johnstone is a Speaker, Trainer and Paradigm Shaker. Founder of The Paradigm Shakers and a Subject Matter Expert.
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