How to Conquer Public Speaking Fear Part 4

Welcome to to part 4 of this special Report on Overcoming the fear of public speaking. 

Public speaking is a common source of stress for most people.

So how do we overcome this irrational fear?

In part 4 of this series on overcoming the fear of public speaking Fact: - Public speaking is a common source of stress for most people.

So how do we overcome this irrational fear?

In this section you will learn how nothing bad ever happens to speakers and how you can easily handle any comments from your audience 

Key 7--Nothing "Bad" Can Ever Happen!

One thing that adds to the fear of public speaking is the dread people have that something awful, terrible, or publicly humiliating will happen to them.

What if I pass out from nervous exhaustion? What if I forget everything I intended to say and am left standing there, totally speechless? What if the audience hates me and begins throwing things at me?

What if they all get up and leave after the first ten minutes? What if they snipe at me with harsh questions or comments once I'm done? What if someone in the audience tries to turn the group against me?

Even when they do, it's useful to have a strategy in mind that has them turn out perfect. Sound difficult? It's not really.

These could be embarrassing if they occurred. Fortunately, most of them don't happen.  This is an irrational fear of failure, and believe me you won’t fail.

I've found that most of the "negative" things that happen when I'm speaking can be handled by keeping this one simple, but powerful, principle in mind: 

everything that happens can be used to my advantage.

If people get up and start to head for the door, I can stop what I'm doing and ask for feedback. Was there something about my topic, my style, or my manner of presentation that was offensive to them? Were they simply in the wrong room at the start and didn't know it? Did someone misinform them about the presentation topic?

No matter what they tell me, by stopping to deal with this situation, honestly and humbly, will often score points with my remaining audience. It also will give me the opportunity to learn how I am affecting people, so I can make any corrections that might be needed.

Even if everyone walked out and refused to give me a reason, I could ultimately find ways to benefit from this experience. At the very least, I could use it as the opening for my next presentation. "You know, I gave this same presentation the other day and everyone in the audience walked out in the first ten minutes. That's my current record, so I guess we'll just have to see what happens today."

The same principle is used for dealing with hecklers or people who ask harsh questions. If you assume that nothing truly bad can ever happen when you're speaking, you'll be amazed how well you can relate to such events and how often you can indeed use them to your advantage.

And once you've successfully used this principle many times, your anxiety about public speaking will have almost disappeared. You'll know it will be virtually impossible for anything "bad" to happen to you,  And you will be armed with the knowledge you’ll be able to handle whatever comes your way. That is a very comforting thought.

Key 8--Some quick tips on Managing Your Audience

To succeed as a public speaker, you don't have to control the behaviour of your audience. There are certain things you do need to control--your own thoughts, your preparation, arrangements for audio-visual aids, how the room is laid out--but one thing you don't have to control is your audience. They will do whatever they do, and whatever they do will usually be "perfect."

If people are fidgety or restless, don't try to control this. If someone is talking to a neighbour, or reading the newspaper, or falling asleep, leave them alone. If people look like they aren't paying attention, refrain from chastising them. Unless someone is being intentionally disruptive, there is very little you need to control.

Thinking you need to change or control other people is a hidden cause of stress in many areas of life. This is just as true for relating to a group as it is for relating to your friends, spouse, children, or other acquaintances.

The fifth and final part of this series on Overcoming the fear of public speaking will be published in the next day or two. So check back for the last part of this report on overcoming the fear of public speaking. You can get this sent to your RSS reader by subscribing to this blog.

Paul Johnstone is a Speaker, Trainer and Paradigm Shaker. Founder of The Paradigm Shakers and a Subject Matter Expert.

Providers of Thought Provoking Training

Delivered by Subject Matter Experts

Check out the free speaking tips at The Paradigm Shakers

http://www.paradigmshakers.co.uk/

P.S I always appreciate feed back and comments and new followers!

©Paul Johnstone

How to Conquer Public Speaking Fear Part 3

I believe it was Franklin D Roosevelt President of the USA who said of public speaking. Be Sincere: Be Brief: Be Seated. Sound advice especially when you are starting out.  Especially be sincere.

Your irrational fear of public speaking and presenting can be overcome and we are now at the half way point in this series. ‘Overcoming The Fear of Public Speaking’.

In this section you will learn all how to look at what you do from the audiences point of view.  You’ll also understand why and how to use humour and the power of humility.  

Key 5 - You succeed when you're not a Public Speaker!

Ok that looks a contradictory staement but it's not - It's about perception.  Are you a speaker?  I suggest you should ask this.  This is because one of the best way to succeed as a public speaker is not to consider yourself a public speaker.

Do you agree with that?  

You may have set or, hold unrealistic views of what successful public speakers do.

You may assume that to be successful, you have to bring certain idealistic qualities you just don’t have.

As a consequence, you may struggle to emulate those personal characteristics of other speakers.  And all the time you believe (wrongly ) these characteristics are responsible for their success.

In other words, you try to be someone you’re not! You try to be a public speaker or a presenter whatever that image means to you.

The truth about public speaking is that most successful speakers got that way by doing the opposite! They didn't try to be somebody else. They just gave themselves permission to be themselves.  And they did that in front of other people. And much to their surprise, they discovered how much fun they could have doing something most other people dread.

The secret, then, to their success is that they didn't try to become public speakers!

You can give yourself permission to do the very same thing. No matter what type of person we are, or what skills and talents you possess, you can stand up in front of others and be yourself.

Once you are comfortable being yourself you will be far more likely to love to speak in public. Why? Because it's one of the few times you give yourself permission to fully be yourself in the presence of others.

You can be bold, compassionate, silly, informative, helpful, and witty.  In-fact anything you want to be.  As long as you’re delivering with purpose and from the heart you can de pretty much what you want anything else that feels natural in the moment.  You can also experiment and see what works best with audiences.  A great truism in life is “we all learn from our mistakes”

As a result, you’ll make much better contact with your audience.  You won't fall into the trap of droning on and on about some uninteresting subject. You’ll feel alive, energized, fully invested in everything you say and do.

When you really get good at being yourself in front of others, you can even stand up in front of a group of people without any idea how you're going to get across your three main points.

And you know what when you get practiced at this? People in the audience often come up to you afterward and say, "you were great, I wish I had the confidence to give public talks like you."

That's the wrong way to think. Don't try to give talks the way I do, or the way anyone else does. Just go out there, armed with your knowledge and a three key points, and be yourself. Everything else will usually work out. It might take a few times to nail it. But after a while, you'll settle into your own successful ways of delivering that will be all yours and no one else's.

Key 6--Humility and Humour Go a Long Way

While most will eventually find their style, certain techniques can be used by almost everyone. The top two are humility and humour.  Both can go a long way to making your presentations more enjoyable and entertaining for your audience.

Humour is well understood by most of us, so little needs to be said about it here. If being humorous feels comfortable for you, or if it fits your speaking situation, go for it. It usually works, even if you don't do it perfectly.  However a word of caution, check it’s appropriate to your audience.

Over to humility which can take some time to fully understand.  By humility, I mean standing up in front of others and sharing some of your own human frailties, weaknesses, and mistakes. If you are comfortable with that, then you should use it as it will win audiences over.

We all have weaknesses, you know, and when you stand up in front of others and show that you're not afraid to admit yours.  Some can be turned into humour and others show you care. It’s then you create a safe, intimate climate where others can acknowledge their personal shortcomings as well.

Being humble in front of others makes you more credible, more believable, and paradoxically more respected. People can connect with you more easily.  

When you show humility, you become "one of them" instead of a remote expert on stage. No longer are you head and shoulders above them (which you really aren't). It also sets a tone of honesty and self-acceptance, which people often recognize in themselves.

Don't try to do this, however, if it's not authentic for you. True humility is easily distinguished from the pretence of acting humble. If you pretend, your audience will perceive this and lose respect for you. I can never remember who said “when you can fake sincerity you’ve got it made.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Try that and an audience will see straight trough you.

Trying to fake humility will harm you.  There is a naff saying “Fake it till you make it.” which similar and fraught with danger.  Because what you are saying is Lie till you get it right. And that is no way to proceed.

Often, humour and humility can be combined very effectively. Telling humorous stories about yourself, or using your own personal failings to demonstrate some point you are trying to make, can be both entertaining and illuminating.

For example, if you get nervous when you stand up to speak in front of a group, or if you suddenly feel nervous during the middle of your presentation, don't hide this fact from your audience, they can tell anyway. Be real--and humble--by acknowledging your fear openly and honestly. Ask your audience for forgiveness while you take a few moments to collect yourself.

When this happened to me, I used to stop and look at the audience and tell them.  “I’m sorry folks I feel really nervous this evening I hope you will be gentle with me?”

Or, you can start your presentation with a humorous story that produces the same effect. For example, I've seen speakers begin their presentation s by using an old schoolboy line. "What lies at the bottom of the ocean and shakes all over?" Answer: a nervous wreck! It can be endearing sand helps relieve speaking anxiety.

The fourth part of this series on Overcoming the fear of public speaking will be published in the next day or two. So check back for the forth piece in this series on overcoming the fear of public speaking. You can get this sent to your RSS reader by subscribing to this blog.

Paul Johnstone is a Speaker, Trainer and Paradigm Shaker. Founder of The Paradigm Shakers and a Subject Matter Expert.

Providers of Thought Provoking Training

Delivered by Subject Matter Experts

Check out the free speaking tips at The Paradigm Shakers

http://www.paradigmshakers.co.uk/

P.S I always appreciate feed back and comments and new followers!

©Paul Johnstone

Great Speaking Tips - Paul Johnstone

Great Speaking Tips

I saw this story and my first reaction was how wonderful. 

Here is a school child showing how it should be done.  There is no need to have any fear of public speaking.

http://bit.ly/exM2aj

Enjoy the story 

Paul Johnstone is a Speaker, Trainer and Paradigm Shaker. Founder of The Paradigm Shakers and a Subject Matter Expert.

Providers of Thought Provoking Training

Delivered by Subject Matter Experts

Check out the free speaking tips at The Paradigm Shakers

http://www.paradigmshakers.co.uk/

P.S I always appreciate feed back and comments and new followers!

©Paul Johnstone

How to Conquer Public Speaking Fear - Part 2

This is the Second part in this series on Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking 

Fact: - Public speaking is a common source of stress for most people.

In this section you will learn all about the power of three and why your purpose is invaluable to you. 

If you want to grow our business or enrich your careers, speaking is one of the quickest ways to achieve that goal.  

The truth about public speaking, however, Does Not Have To Be Stressful!

Fact: - Public speaking is a common source of stress for most people. 

So how do we overcome this irrational fear? 

In this section you will learn all about the power of three and why your purpose is invaluable to you. 

 

If you want to grow our business or enrich your careers, speaking is one of the quickest ways to achieve that goal.  The truth about public speaking, however, Does Not Have To Be Stressful! 

Key 3--All You Need are the Main Points

You don't have to deliver a ton of data or minute details to give your audience what they truly want. Actually if you deliver facts and figures it often turns people off.

Many studies have shown that 

people remember very few of the facts or information speakers deliver!  Most of what they remember comes from how you deliver and not the words you use.  

While you may choose to include lots of facts and information, you only need to make three main points to have your presentation viewed a success. You can even have your whole talk be about only one key point, if you wish.

When I first began presenting I wasn't aware of this simple principle. So many times I decided my audience wanted, no needed the encyclopaedia Britannica from me.  And as you have guessed I just didn't have. So I tried to research my topic thoroughly and deliver as much worldly wisdom as possible.

By the time the presentation arrived I was shattered.  And the annoying thing – often I forgot to mention stuff I had spent hours cramming for.   Last and by no means least it bored the backsides of my audience.  One person later told me during an earlier presentation he had solved a business problem by thinking it through. A real vote of confidence!

As time went on, thankfully I learned that all this complexity wasn't needed. More than that, it wasn’t wanted.   As a result, my notes got shorter and my slides simpler (more of that later).

Through preparation and knowing my subject I got most presentations down to a half page of A4.  This just contained a couple of reminders and the headlines for my three mail points.   

As long as I focused on three key points, I was able to speak at length about them by naturally drawing upon my past experiences and knowledge.

Remember, all your audience wants from you is to walk away with your three key points that will make a difference to them. The aim of any presenter or speaker is to achieve knowledge transfer.  That’s one of the points to keep in mind.  

If you structure your presentations to deliver this result, you can avoid what isn't wanted. You are now free to concentrate on what your audience expect.   This also makes your job as a presenter much easier, and much. Much more fun!

But Why three?

Because people remember things better in threes.  You have a six digit phone number and most of you will probably remember it 234 675.  Politicians always use threes; remember Education, Education, Education.   Your mind finds it easier to hold on to facts in threes which is why politicians use that technique so often.

Key 4--Have a Purpose A real purpose

This principle is very important, so now is the time to pay attention! 

A mistake people make when they present is they have the wrong purpose in mind. Often, they have no specific purpose.  Ask yourself why you would talk to an audience with no outcome in mind.  This can lead to people wandering of their topic, then your subconscious kicks in and you forget why you are there.   All this does is cause a whole lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety.

That is so important. let’s say it again.  When you present you need purpose or a reason to be successful.  

This is a prime example of what is called a "hidden cause" of public speaking stress. 

Many presenters believe when they start out that their purpose is to get everyone in the audience to like them.  Least ways approve of them.  In the mistaken belief that this was what good public speakers do. They are not consciously aware of this purpose.  Many people don’t recognise how foolish it is.  Moreover, just how detrimental to their presentation this is.

Because of this hidden purpose, new presenters feel the needed to be absolutely perfect and brilliant.  They have to be cause that’s how the great presenters are – Right!   

They just want to win the audience's unanimous approval, every time. 

When you start out you may think that if just one person in the audience disapproved you’ve lost! If one person left early, if anyone fell asleep, or if someone looked bored in what you’re saying you are no good!

All this does is raise anxiety levels!

Once you become aware of this stress-producing purpose, you are able to look at it honestly and realize how foolish it was. How many public speakers get 100% approval from their audiences? The answer is Nil!

The truth about public speaking is no matter how good a job you do someone is going to disapprove of either you or your argument.  

That is just human nature. In a large group of people, there will always be a difference of opinions, and reactions. Some will be positive, others will be neutral and some may be negative.

There is no rhyme or reason to it. If you do an awful job, some people will sympathize with you and feel for you.  At the same time others will criticize you harshly. When you do a fantastic job, someone will resent your ability and might disapprove of you on that basis alone. Some people will leave early because of an emergency. Some will fall asleep because they were up all night taking care of an elderly parent. So, it's foolish and unrealistic to attempt to please all the people, all of the time.

More importantly, it's the wrong purpose in the first place.

Remember, the essence of public speaking is to give your audience something of value. The operative phrase here is Give before you receive! 

The purpose of public speaking is not for you to get something (approval, fame, respect, sales, clients, etc.) from your audience. It is to give something useful to your audience.

Yes, if you do this well, you'll gain notoriety, respect, sales, and possibly new clients. You will be seen as an expert in your field.  But this should never be your motivating force. If you focus on giving as much as you can to your audience, you will then be aligned with the truth about public speaking. You’ll also avoid one of the biggest pitfalls that cause people to experience public speaking - anxiety.

But how do you add value?  You should by now understand to present you need to know your subject. Have a reason to be presenting, your purpose. Adding value is straight forward. Give your audience a little extra information. Some more detail.  Point them at an independent resource.  Give them a take away or get them asking thought provoking questions. 

There are many, many ways to add value to your presentation.  There will be a whole section on workshop and presentation extras on the web site www.paradigmshakers.co.uk shortly.  So why not pop along and take a look.

The third part of this series on Overcoming the fear of public speaking will be published in the next day or two. So check back for the third piece in this series on overcoming the fear of public speaking. You can get this sent to your RSS reader by subscribing to this blog.

In that section we will deal with humour a powerful ally of any speaker and how you look at yourself when you are learning to speak.

Paul Johnstone is a Speaker, Trainer and Paradigm Shaker. Founder of The Paradigm Shakers and a Subject Matter Expert.

Providers of Thought Provoking Training - Delivered by Subject Matter Experts

Check out the free speaking tips at The Paradigm Shakers

http://www.paradigmshakers.co.uk/

P.S I always appreciate feed back and comments and new followers!

©Paul Johnstone

How to Conquer Public Speaking Fear - Part 1

This is the first part in a series on Overcoming the fear of public speaking


Fact: - Public speaking is a common source of stress for most people. 


So how do we overcome this irrational fear? 

Irrational it is.  As humans we are only born into this world with two fears and fear of public speaking is not one of them.  Many of us would like to avoid this problem all together, but this is hard to do these days. Whether you work alone or with large numbers of people, eventually you will need to speak in public to get certain things done. 


And if you want to be leaders or achieve anything meaningful in our lives, you will often need to speak to groups, large and small, to be successful.


You probably know already that to grow our business or enrich your careers, speaking is one of the quickest ways to achieve that goal.  The truth about public speaking is:  It Does Not Have To Be Stressful! 


Once you understand the hidden causes of public speaking stress, and then you keep just a few key principles in mind.   Speaking in public will soon become an invigorating and satisfying experience for you.
Purpose Of This Series of Articles 


Is to help you overcome the fear of public speaking by sharing with you 10 Keys to Overcoming The Fear of Public Speaking.    I call them keys because these will unlock your potential and open the door so you open the door of opportunity and embrace speaking in public.    


Let’s start by discussing the ten keys.  You are probably aware that if you approach any problem in life from the right starting point, everything else falls into place. So ask yourself “Why would you start from anywhere else?”.

This series will reveals to you the eleven "hidden" causes of public speaking stress. These have been summarized, along with the ten keys of overcoming the fear of public speaking.

The 10 Keys


Key 1--Speaking in Public is NOT Inherently Stressful


You just like me and everyone else on this planet have only tow fears we are born with.  They are falling and fear of loud noises.  Everything else we have learned to be afraid of.   


Most of us believe parts of life are inherently stressful. In fact, many of us have been taught to believe that life as a whole is very stressful!


To deal with any type of stress effectively, you first must understand that life itself, including public speaking, is not inherently stressful. Honest it’s not and you’ll learn why it’s not right here.

Thousands of people have learned to speak in front of groups with no stress at all. Many of these people were initially terrified of speaking in public. Their knees would shake, their voices would tremble, they would break out into a sweat, they would behave irrationally and their thoughts would become jumbled, you know the rest. 


And yet they learned to eliminate their fear of public speaking.


You are no more or less human than they are. If they can overcome the fear of public speaking, so can you! It just takes the right guidance, the right understanding, and the right plan of action to make this a reality.


Believe me, it's not difficult. I'm a good example of someone who went through all those irrational feelings.   And while it didn't happen overnight, it wasn't difficult.   All it took was approaching the subject in the right way.

Key 2--You Don't have to be Perfect to Succeed


Have you ever looked at public speakers and thought "I could never be that good, or that entertaining, polished or professional." Well, I've got great news for you.   You don't have to be brilliant, witty, or perfect to succeed. 


That is not what public speaking is about.   It may look that way, but it's not. 


You can be average. In fact you can be below average. You allowed to make mistakes, allowed forget your words, or stray from what you had originally planned to say.  Yes it’s all allowed.  You can even get away without telling jokes and still be successful.


It all depends on how you, and your audience, define "success." Believe me, when I tell you, your audience doesn't expect perfection. They expect to hear what they have come to hear.  In other words they expect what has been advertised. 


Before I realised I didn’t have to be perfect, I used to put so much pressure on myself, just to be perfect. I got a nervous rash on my face. I worked for days to perfect my presentation 


The essence of public speaking is this: give your audience something extra, something of value.  Simple.  That's all there is to it.  When people in your audience walk away with something (anything) of value, they will consider you a success.   


When they walk away feeling better about themselves, feeling better about some job they have to do, they will consider you a success. When they walk away feeling happy or entertained, they will consider their time with you worthwhile.


Even if you get tongue-tied, or say something really stupid during your presentation, they won't care! As long as they get something of value, they will be thankful.


They don't even need to feel good to consider you a success. If you criticize people, or if you stir them up to ultimately benefit them, they might still appreciate you, even though you didn't make them feel good at the time.
But how do give them something extra?  

How do you add value to your presentation? 


That is the straight forward part.  Lets say you are speaking about how to get ahead using Face Book or Twitter.  Your audience are expecting information on those two social media platforms. And that is what you will deliver.  


To add value to your audience share with them tips on how they integrate with other elements of social media- share with them a technique about using another social media platform, or show them how you can promote what you are doing at little or no cost. 


The second part of this series on Overcoming the fear of public speaking will be published in the next day or two.  So check back for the second piece.  You can get this sent to your RSS reader by subscribing to this blog.

Paul Johnstone is a Speaker, Trainer and Paradigm Shaker. Founder of The Paradigm Shakers and a Subject Matter Expert.

Providers of Thought Provoking Training

Delivered by Subject Matter Experts

Check out the free speaking tips at The Paradigm Shakers

http://www.paradigmshakers.co.uk/

P.S I always appreciate feed back and comments and new followers!

©Paul Johnstone

What your English Teacher forgot to tell you!

Those halcyon days of school, learning and growing up.  Fondly remembered by some loathed by others.  Whatever your view there is one fact that cannot be challenged. 

Your English teacher taught you good grammar but not how to communicate.

What do I mean by that sweeping statement?

When you present to the board or to a group of prospects it is highly unlikely you will fall back on those scholarly grammatical skills.  But there is worse to come. 

Often we all fall into bad communication habits.  We fill them with industry shorthand and jargon, just because you can.  Worse still, stuffing the presentation with meaningless errms, and ums and obviously or whatever. Or saying yes, no (it has to be one or the other, it can’t be both)

As an example lets take a look at a CV - your CV.  After all, most of us have written a CV to get a job.  When you wrote it what was your purpose?  How much thought did you put in to what the reader would be thinking?  What frame of mind is the HR person going to be in when they read it?

If you are like me, these were not issues I considered.  Hit ‘em with some facts and bowl them over with your history.  That was my modus operandi.

Now let’s look at it from the HR persons point of life. 

Ask yourself this. Are the pleased to get to their desk to find 67 CV’s in a neat pile all demanding attention. 

Are they going to get home with a bag full of entertaining reading for the evening?  

Or are they likely to be read by someone who may have had a bad journey to work and because of the weather, traffic or home issue, means they are now behind for the day?

Best you think it’s the latter.

Write your CV to get someone’s attention quickly and keep them interested and informed.  It really doesn’t matter what frame of mind they are in, your CV will be read.  

Now take the feelings of the time pressed HR person and imagine they are a time pressed business person (is there any other?).  How do you now look at your communications to them? 

Are they full of grammatically correct long sentences? Think about the last legal letter you read, factually correct, grammatically correct.  But almost unintelligible and full of long clauses using words you don’t fully understand.

Would you read communication sent to you if it resembled a legal contract?

Or do you write short interest packed statements followed up by bullet points? All written in a way the reader gets it first time.

When writing any communication message just think your reader is pressed for time and you have to get the interesting stuff up front or – chances are yours will be like the quickly flicked through CV and left on the pile.

This approach is even more important when presenting.  Death by PowerPoint anyone?

To avoid this it’s best to know what your audience expects of you.  Meet that expectation.  Keep them interested and involved and you are on your way to success.

I recently saw a biography of an industry specialist on their web site.  His message was fairly clear except he said he had done just about every job in the organisation except sales.  

What was his purpose of telling me that?  What I was after was an indication of what he could do, not what he couldn’t.

Lots of brochures, sales messages and company literature is written with little idea of what the prospect wants.  Often it’s full of what we want to TELL you. 

And sometimes all that does is make us dream for those sunny trouble free school days all over again.

Paul Johnstone is a Speaker, Trainer and Paradigm Shaker. Founder of The Paradigm Shakers and a Subject Matter Expert.

©Paul Johnstone; The Paradigm Shakers

Providers of Thought Provoking Training

Delivered by Subject Matter Experts

Check out the free speaking tips at The Paradigm Shakers

http://www.paradigmshakers.co.uk/

P.S I always appreciate feed back and comments Oh and new followers!